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Old 04-09-2003, 01:39 PM  
Mojo
Used to be a Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 356
"Chemical Ali" Dead; Coalition Now Hunting "Telemarketing Abdul"

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BAGHDAD, Iraq (DPI) - With the apparent death of Ali Hassan al-Majid, the Iraqi commander and Saddam Hussein cousin better known as "Chemical Ali," the U.S.-led coalition has shifted its focus to targets of lesser concern. Next on the list is notorious phone scam artist Abdul bin Shaheen, nicknamed "Telemarketing Abdul," who is believed to be hiding out in the suburbs of northern Baghdad. "One by one, we will hunt down and destroy any threat to America posed by the current Iraqi regime," said U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

While he refused to give specifics of other potential targets, experts speculate that future targets will include Omar "The Spammer" Mustafa, "Mohammed the Mime" Khalif, and Ahmed el-Debir, often referred to as "the Iraqi Pauly Shore."
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Thank heaven these bastards are being brought to justice!
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