You want a story? Fine! I'll give you a fucking story.
My brother Bill is crippled and has limited mobility using his crutches. I took my brother Bill on a vacation to Europe.
We started in London and went to see Big Ben. I went up in the tower, but my brother Bill couldn't get around well enough to go up. He's a cripple you know.
Next we went to Paris and visited the Eiffel Tower. My brother Bill waited for me while I went up because he's a cripple you know.
When we got to Pisa, I went up into the Leaning Tower alone because my brother Bill is a cripple you know.
Well, when we got to the Vatican the Pope came out on his balcony and when he saw my brother Bill he came down to the Plaza. The Pope touched my brother Bill's left shoulder and his left crutch went flying out to the left! Then the Pope touched my brother Bill's right shoulder and his right crutch went flying to the right!
And do you know what happened next? My brother Bill fell on his ass. He's a cripple you know.
I need some GFY swag to go tell the Pope what he can do for making my brother Bill fall on his ass.