You are being a bit dense.
Your site makes my point. It's a mess.
But, I will indulge this a bit further.
Let's take one of the sites YOU gave as an example..
http://www.jessiecoxxx.com/tour/index.html
You may not like the "look" but that is just the wrapper. It can be changed to anything.
The reason the site works is that it is well organized. They are very clear about what they offer..
30 seconds scanning that tour and I know..
It's all exclusive content.
It's an all teen site.
They have a blog.
There's message boards and cam shows.
The previews give a taste of the full videos.
I got NONE of that from your site. NOTHING at all actually.
and again, you may hate the design of that site and I can respect that, but it really is just the wrapper. True web designers and developers understand the flow of a surfers eye over a site. They understand how to create a "call to action" with the surfer. Your site also has NONE of that.
I am officially done with this now, so good luck. My best advice to you would be to just open up your mind a bit. When you ask for feedback, TAKE IT!