When I was 19 I was feeling like complete shit about everything, no real obvious reason why I had just given up. Went to my local psychiatry center, after 20 minutes the doctor prescribed me with a strong medicine called paroxetine and I began consuming this mind-controller daily. Now more than three yeard have passed and I have been off the pills for two months, the reason I decided to stop was that my whole being was rejecting this practise and perharps the fact that in the last year I have done a lot of studies on "everything good
" and have waken up more and more every day.
Quitting the meds is hard work, first few weeks it felt like my brain was in complete chaos and I realised what effect the pills had on my brain and conciousness.
My experience with the meds where that they changed my thought process and completely locked my emotional world in a deep and dark cellar and threw away the key.
Sure they helped against the anxiety, but now im thinking that my anxiety is something else, not sure what but something I should not try and cure with external means.
I was naive at the time I contacted people for help and the fact that they just gave a broken 19-year old these drugs and sent me on my way is terrible and I have now lost every single trust I ever had in authorities or in the entire scientific establishment.
Now to my question, I am starting to feel depressed again, much of it because the knowledge I have aquired about the reality we live in and a feeling of being without hope is creeping closer daily. How do you deal with life when you look at the world and feel hopeless?
I want to do everything I can to get out of this dark period but I am in need of some intelligent guidance, thanks in advance kind souls.
i am all i am