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Just write...
"Cuz I want to drink and fuck all the sorority girls. I don't mind if half the faculty staff has already fucked them because your in a position of authority, sloppy seconds I can deal with! My experience in adult entertainment can help you achieve longer more satisfying erections as well. Think of all the money you'll save by throwing away your Viagra (tm). Thank you for your consideration and time."
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i like waffles
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