One of the prevailing myths in society is that everyone on registries are all violent rapists or pedophiles.
However, landing on a sex offender registry (or even the prospect of landing on the registry) is a very real
threat. Over the years, I have collected some very outlandish cases which have either landed someone on
the registry or have at least made them potentially subject to placement on the registry. Some are sad,
some are ludicrous, others leave you questioning the laws. However, it is important to keep in mind how
easily one can be caught up in the registries. Think about that next time you look at a sex offender
registry.
Thus, in the tradition of another popular comedy skit, I present to you the following cases as ?You might
be a sex offender if?:? [Laugh Track NOT Included]
* You might be a sex offender if? you ever paid for a prostitute in New York
*
http://www.criminaljustice.state.ny.us/nsor/sortab1.htm -- Penal Code 230.4-6
* You might be a sex offender if? you use a stolen credit card to hire a stripper in New York
*
http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/ethical...-legal-news-1/
* You might be a sex offender if? You had sex with a teenager while you were a teen yourself
*
www.rickyslife.com
*
http://sadlynormal.wordpress.com/200...victim-of-sex-
offense-presents-legal-puzzle/ (Pamela Mason, ?Utah teen both a perpetrator and victim
presents legal puzzle.? Salt Lake City Tribune, Dec. 12, 2006)
* You might be a sex offender if? you ever got drunk at a party and videotaped yourself having
sex with your teenage girlfriend
*
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...oryId=10972703
* You might be a sex offender if? you have ever given your kids too much information when giving
?the birds and the bees? speech
*
http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/1112/smalley_ctv.html (Mallory Simon, ?Woman
prosecuted for giving her children too much information about sex.? Court TV, November 12,
2007)
* You might be a sex offender if? a topless woman has ever talked you into unwrapping your
whopper in a public park
*
http://current.com/items/88801861_co...pol ice_sting
(original story taken down: Marcus Baram, ?Topless Woman Lured Perverts in Sex Sting.?
ABC News.com)
* You might be a sex offender if? anyone has ever accused you of a sex crime in Ohio -- thanks to
a ?civil? registry, you don?t even need a criminal conviction, only a civil conviction
*
http://codes.ohio.gov/oac/109:5-4 - Ohio Chapter 109:5-4
* You might be a sex offender if? you ever participated in ?slap butt day? in school
*
http://www.590klbj.com/JeffWard/Story.aspx?ID=71743
* You might be a sex offender if? you allow your teenage daughter to have sex or don?t do enough
to stop her from getting knocked up
*
http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.co...ut-reason.html
* You might be a sex offender if? you touched the knees of another man over 60 years ago
*
http://www.reason.com/news/show/30272.html
* You might be a sex offender if? you have ever taken a picture of your child playing in the
bathtub, or if you have bathed a baby in your tub
*
http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature...aid/index.html (James Kinkaid, ?Is this
child pornography?? salon.com, Jan. 30, 2000)
* You might be a sex offender if? you?ve ever simulated sex on the sidewalk
*
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/s...nd/7079288.stm (?Man simulated
sex act on pavement,? BBC News, Nov. 5, 2007)
* You might be a sex offender if? you had sex with a picnic table (note: why was the person who
videotaped this person NOT charged with creating obscene material? Hm...)
*
http://www.nbc24.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=150083
* You might be a sex offender if? you are a teen and you take pictures of yourself and send it to
other teens
*
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=5995084&page=1 : Scott Michaels, ?Teen Charged
With Sending Nude Pics of Herself.? ABC News, Oct. 10, 2008
*
http://sexoffenderresearch.blogspot..../label/Sexting
* You might be a sex offender if... you have ever chatted with a teen online, even if you never
planned to meet them
*
www.changingthelaw.com
* You might be a sex offender if... you have oral sex with an intoxicated partner
*
http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/registra...x?lang=ENGLISH -- California Code 288A (I)
* You might be sex offender if... you look at a child too long in Maine
*
http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/p...WS/804060343/-
1/NEWS01 -- Maine's "Visual Sexual Aggression" law
*
* You might be a sex offender if... you are caught urinating in public multiple times
*
http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news...42/detail.html
The Following is not an actual case, but the author poses a REALLY good point here:
* You might be CONFUSED FOR a sex offender if... you leave your lights off and don't pass out
candy at Halloween!
*
http://freestudents.blogspot.com/200...now-happy.html -- One can?t ignore the damn holiday without possibly getting accused of being an offender. For years I?ve safely ignored the holiday. Now, what will the neighbors think? Will they assume that the light is off because a sex offender lives here?