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Smutnut, are you the same guy who's starting a mainstream "funny" site... if so me thinks your just fishing for more content to put on it lol, with that said here's mine....
(1) Piece of your mind
Line up about 10 key people from your life that have fucked you up in some way shape or form (parents, ex's whatever) have then lined up in lines of 3 or 4, make sure it's a tight lineup no more then 3 rows deep.
Make sure everyone can see you clearly!
Now turn around with your back to them and BLAST your self in the face with a shotgun (use buckshot!)
The end result will be your brains being blown onto the faces of those behind you, leaving you dead and giving all those fucks a piece of your mind.
(2) Cool it fucker!
Get yourself an industrial fan, I mean a BIG FUCKER!! take off the protective cover and tape some heavy duty tape to one of the fan blades, then take a razor blade and skim the first layer of your skin off and attach the other side of the tape to your skin.
Turn on the fan, and with any luck you'll unravel and die
This method might take more then one attempt to achieve total success.
(3)Good to the last pop
Grab yourself about 20 lbs of pop corn kernels, and six electric blankets (They still make these right???) Swallow as much of the pop corn kernels as you can handle... don't be a pussy try for the full 20lbs!!!! then wrap yourself up with all the blankets and crank them on high, in about 30 minutes or so you'll turn into not only one less fucker on the planet but a tasty snack for the EMT's who have to show up to clean you up.
-Loki-
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