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gideongallery, you should go to law school and become a lawyer bro! As soon as you turn 18 you should really have your parents try to send you to law school so you can actually learn all this shit instead of just incessantly babbling about it all the time.
That way you could go to court and defend thieves with your parsing of words. You won't win, but it would still be a good vocation for you once you get out of high school.
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