1) my dad made me buy a laptop for college in 1998. i only used it to look up porn
2) i own and operate a mainstream SEM/PPC company. i know more about adwords than anyone should probably every know
3) i was on a show in 2001 on MTV called "Vice"
4) i failed out of college twice (its not that im dumb, i was just lazy and liked to go to AC more than class)
5) took me 6 years to graduate college (also took summer and winter classes). i changed majors 4 times
6) the first gallery I submitted was in 2002. all the images were .bmp and i exceeded my bandwidth in one hour
7) after i graduated college, i moved to Los Angeles with my ex gf and just enough money to barley survive for 3 weeks
8) Lane Garrison from prison break smashed into my car in Hollywood one night
9) every time I eat at Arbys, something bad happens
10) the day before I graduate college, the police raid my house and take all my computers and electronics. they claim i committed Internet fraud and scammed people. turns out 2 years later i get my stuff back and im never in trouble because its perfectly legal NOT to mail someone something if they dont pay for shipping
and one last good one...
11) im banned from ebay for life
