RedShoe

Some of you may recall that when I went to see the Da Vinci Code the film broke and people demanded their money back. It was a long story but pretty damn funy.

WELL GUESS WHAT!

I just got back from Universal City Walk from trying to see Wanted.

The movie started at.. no, I mean it was SUPPOSED to start at 12:40am. We're night owls, so that's not a problem. However, I knew it was opening night, and I knew it was Friday and I knew I hate crowds of people. But... I went anyway.

We go to the window to get our tickets and the boy said there was only 50 seats left, which means it's going to be fucking PACKED. I HATE THAT, but we paid anyway. We went into the theater where we were redirected to the long line outside the theater, I hate that.

They opened the door and we went in, and as soon as we entered the theater the kids behind us ran past us, and then all their friends and everyone else RAN for the theater. Fucking kids. I just don't understand that mentality.

SO naturally, by the time we got into the theater, it was already full. But alas, there was a balcony. We headed upstairs and sure as shit, it too was full. We managed to find a seat right at the railing on the far right side. The screen was only mildly distorted.

My wife sat next to a 300lb Mexican that seemed to think there was nothing funnier than tossing popcorn that he found on the floor, over the railing to the people below. And he insisted on putting his ham hocks up on the railing blocking people's view.

I could hear girls yelling, not talking, yelling at people across the theater to "SHUT THE FUCK UP"

The previews come on and that doesn't stop this crowd. It just annoyed them and so they just got rowdier, during the previews a fire alarm bell rings. !0 trailers in, and our movie is going to start, "AND NOW FOR OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION"



The lights come on. "FOLKS!!! THERE IS A FIRE ALARM, PLEASE EVACUATE THE BUILDING!!"

"Fuck that", Pablo the Mexican next to us says, "I'll go fuck his shit up." I guess he figured all the guy needed was a good ass whoppin' to let everyone back into the burning movie theater. He does have a point though, if I had the choice of living or watching Angeline Jolie in a burning theater I guess I'd choose death as well.

The god damn building is on FIRE and these morons are pissed that they might lose their seats. We come out of the theater, and in the courtyard of the Universal Citywalk stands the angriest mob I've ever seen. Assuming each theater holds 500 people, and it's a multiplex of 18 theaters, and assuming they were at least 75% filled to capacity that would put the pissed off mob somewhere in the neighborhood of 6800 pissed off people.

6800 people all standing right in front of the theater, demanding some form of reimbursement.

The theater sends out a 17 year old girl.. BY HERSELF, with what I would assume is 7000 movie tickets.

Imagine tossing a rat into a piranha infested swamp. I've never seen such anarchy. Mob mentality at it's finest. She'd run, then stop and people would just swarm and yank at the tickets and so she'd run from them and they'd chase her. It was so bad. She finally managed to run BACK INTO THE BURNING BUILDING FOR SAFETY!!!!


Needless to say, we left. Not sure if that place burned down or not. And now here I am telling you all about it.

If I ever ask you to go to the movies... just say "no."

~Enjoy.

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