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Not to be unsympathetic...but you're mixing apples with oranges.
A suspension is a big deal. Dealing with that is what should take priority - finding out if it was for something major or something minor, and responding appropriately.
Experimenting with smoking at age 12 is not a big deal, in comparison - I would bet that 75% of the people on this board experimented with smoking around that age, and that most either didn't start, or have subsequently quit. Obviously he shouldn't start and you don't want him to start, and it should be discussed with him on a rational, logical level that he can appreciate (how can you afford it, you won't be able to play sports the way you'll want to, etc) - a 12 year old isn't usually going to respond to the "here's what's going to happen to you in 40-50 years" argument.
But the reality is that he's either going to continue behind your back, or stop after he tries it for a bit and doesn't like it. It's the same way that most kids have done it, and have for generations - just be glad that societal pressure is on your site now, unlike 50 years ago.
And just FYI, most people I've talked to (and in my situation, I've talked to more smokers than most of you have seen in your lives) who got the "you're going to smoke a whole pack" as punishment treatment, had one immediate thought: "Cool!" And more of them ended up as smokers than said "yuck, I don't want to see another cigarette in my life."
Flame if you want - but just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. I have one of my own, and she'd *better* not start ;)
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