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Kids look to their parents for guidance, and structure. Give a 12-15 year old the feeling like they're "on their own" and they will be. You may think you're giving them tough love, but they will just learn to make all the decisions themselves. You can't have two people driving the same car. Either you drive it and they learn from you, or you let them drive and end up wherever. If you end up wherever, remember who you let drive there! If you don't have the time, energy blah blah blah to take charge and be responsible, you are indeed the passenger.
They have friends, and you aren't their friend. You are their parent, and the more you accept the challenge and rise to it, the more your kids will look up to you, respect you, consider what you think and take your advice.
More than anything, if you say you're going to do something, you HAVE to follow through. If you don't, then your words are, and will always be: completely meaningless.
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