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Originally Posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle
There are some guys like that, but please tell me you don't actually believe that ALL stories go the same way? It's just not like that all or even most of the time. There still need to be MAJOR improvements made to the system but just because some guys are getting shafted doesn't mean that there are a shit ton of loser men out there as well.
What about guys who pay a fair amount and are able to see their kids 50% of the time but still don't bother to show up to pick them up from school? Because that does happen as well. As a matter of fact, if you want to talk about family members, how about this little gem of a story? My nieces father left her stranded at school the other day because he's a loser idiot. Just didn't bother to show up for her. He was into having a kid before she was born, but once she arrived, he changed his tune. Her mother WANTS her dad to see her, be involved in her life and keep her half the time, but the guy JUST WON'T DO IT. Since he wouldn't do it and she was having to keep the kid 95-100% of the time she did eventually HAVE to ask for support just trying to get by, and was awarded a VERY minimal amount. He refuses to pay, and since he won't get a job except for waiting tables, and since most of his pay is in the form of tips in cash, she can't even get them to garnish his wages. So basically now she has to take care of the kid 95-100% of the time AND pay for everything, yet in the middle of this, she is STILL allowing him to see his daughter on the RARE occasion that he decides to show up. She practically BEGS him to see her, and the little girl just doesn't understand why daddy forgets her at kindergarten.
Now are you telling me this is an isolated situation? You really think there are no deadbeat parents out there who are just plain losers in life and not a pitiful victim of the system? I don't hate dads or men, I have a great dad and know lots of great fathers, but not all guys who impregnate a woman are saintly men who want the best for their children.
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That's the problem. None of the situations are the same, and everyone of them has specific circumstances. And I'm sure there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there. But the question is would they be deadbeat dads if they had custody of their children, didn't have to pay to support them, and now collect child support from the mother? No, they wouldn't be deadbeat dads because they wouldn't be spending their income giving it to a ex-lover and not being able to see their children.
Your story is rather interesting and I'm sure it's repeated thousands of times a day. And it's sad. But it sounds to me more like he changed his mind about being a father.
No, not all men are "saintly" and want what's best for their kids. But I bet you most of them are if there was a level playing ground. But when you take a portion of their income and restrict access to their kids and not allow them to be a part of their daily lives, well, it sort of sucks the life out of them.
We call it deadbeat dads because the women typically get the kids. But if you throw the shoe on the other foot it makes no difference. At the end of the day one parent is coming out ahead and has a normal life plus financial support, and on the other hand the other parent is getting brutally fucked in the ass. I mentioned my sister-in-law; She can't afford to make the payments and just lost her house because of it. How does that help the situation?
I know six or seven people that have kids and custody issues. And in every case the one paying the support - man or woman - is getting fucked. My sister-in-law, mentioned above, lost her house and is having problems paying for her apartment. My friend Neal ( who I think I mentioned earlier) has four kids from three different mothers and and pays nearly more in child support than he makes (granted, he should have kept his damn dick in his pants).
I could go on......
I think we need a huge change in the system. Both parents have joint custody and share the financial obligation fifty fifty. How does that work if you live in different states? Spend six months with one parent, and then six months with the other parent. No money trades hands, problems solved.