View Single Post
Old 05-05-2008, 01:00 PM  
TheAmericanCannibal
Confirmed User
 
TheAmericanCannibal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,086
Check Out the Weird Email I Got Today...

People wonder if my life has changed since starring in a major motion picture that has been featured a lot on cable recently...

Well I can tell you, YES it has-
I now receive emails like this everytime my movie airs....


So when is SPielberg going to finally call?

To: [email protected]
Subject: Female Cannibal Feast


Dear Event Coordinator:

If you desire a unique revenue producing venture, I wish to donate myself as the longpig main course for a BBQ/Hawaiian Luau. Being served to all women is my preference.

I have had this fantasy for many years and it may either turn into a reality or you could make a video and sell it on the Internet. If you request, I will send you a detailed script.

I have acted out this scenario with 25 dominatrixes. They all say this is the most unique roleplaying they have ever conducted. I am prepared as the Dinner Guest Of Honor. I would like to be either roasted alive on a rotisserie in front of your guests or cooked in a roasting pan. I melt when I see women wearing a tiny bikini with high heels and wish to be in their warm bellies. The sexiest part of a woman is her navel. I could be placed on a silver carving platter, garnished, and served with an apple stuffed in my mouth.

My characteristics are blond hair, blue eyes, single, no children, no drugs, non-drinker, non-smoker, 100% healthy, 5' 10", and 185 pounds.� I have an M.B.A. and am a librarian. I have an athletic physique and earned a football scholarship to Michigan State University.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to a favorable reply.

Sincerely,
Harvey
TheAmericanCannibal is offline   Share thread on Digg Share thread on Twitter Share thread on Reddit Share thread on Facebook Reply With Quote