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Amelia, I've heard rates from $10 to $200+/hour. But fnet's estimate of $35/hour would be fairly typical of a moderately experienced US-based programmer.
However an hourly rate is not necessarily a reliable indicator of whether a programmer is good value because some are much more productive than others.
With a definable project you're usually better-off going with a project-rate in preference to an hourly rate. That way you'll know exactly what the job is going to cost.
As for a budget you could probably get a very *rough* estimate by describing your project briefly in this thread. But if you want a more exact number you'll need to clearly and precisely define what functionality and features you require, then arrange for several well-qualified programmers to bid.
Elance.com is in fact a good place to find affordable and reliable programmers because there is plenty of competition for each job and you can read feedback posted by previous clients.
As for assessing the suitability of anyone recommended on this board I would suggest seeking people with strong and credible references and a substantial portfolio of work.
I have a guy who is the best programmer I've ever worked with (and I've worked with many), but I don't think he's interested in any additional adult-related clients. If it's a mainstream project let me know and I'll give you his details.
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