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"Use us or we'll burn your house down."
"Watch out for other companies... they have herpes."
"Need a service and have an appropriate budget? Then we may be the people for the task your particular project requires."
"Fine, don't use us. See if we care."
"Hey, remember us, from the party? Yeah, you were so wasted dude, but you remember talking about how you're going to hire us, right... right?"
"We have one thing the competition doesn't... bukkakes!"
"If you want your business to fail miserably and send you spiraling into poverty, then don't contact our staff."
"Ninjas use us."
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