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YOUR WIFE COULD BE PORN STAR!
Here's how to tell:
By DOUG VINCENT
Porn Stars are living among us -- and your wife could be one of them!
"You'd be amazed at the number of ordinary men who are married to famous porn stars and don't even know it," states A. J. Podaski, a California based writer who covers the adult-film industry. "More and more XXX actresses want the stability of marriage, but they don't want to give up the money and glamour of porn. So they just lie about it."
Here are some foolproof ways to tell if your wife is making dirty movies behind your back:
-- Every couple of weeks she has to fly to California to care for a "sick aunt."
-- When in bed, she just lies there until you yell "Action!"
-- Just as you're about to make love, she asks, "What's my motivation?"
-- She keeps getting mail addressed to "Patty O'Plenty."
-- Whenever you go out, drooling men ask her for her autograph.
-- She looks suspiciously like the Hustler pin-up in your neighbor's garage.
-- She knows sexual positions that would put a circus contortionist in the hospital.
-- She wears a micro miniskirt and six-inch spike heels to go grocery shopping.
-- On your joint tax return she lists her occupation as "passion princess."