View Single Post
Old 04-03-2008, 05:23 PM  
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE
best designer on GFY
 
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384
Posts: 30,307
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlosTheGaucho View Post
Now here is my sample description - tell me what do you think:

Now this is some of the nastiest and wildest debauchery that ever happened in house, well we all are glad to meet new friends that we can fuck and these three couples sure DIDN't knew each before. Well a couple of shots in our club turns young and horny people in fuckbuddies easily.

Now what turned up was a MASSIVE orgy, all the cocks got sucked, all the girls got rammed and all of that wrapped up with the good old belly cumshot contest.
"Now this is some of the nastiest and wildest debauchery that ever happened in house, well we all are glad to meet new friends that we can fuck and these three couples sure DIDN't knew each before."

Is a run on sentence.

Fix with...

"Now this is some of the nastiest and wildest debauchery that has ever happened in house! We all are glad to meet new friends that we can fuck! These three couples did not know each other! Until, a couple of shots in our club that is. These shots turn young and horny people into fuck buddies easily."

Can Add:

See the exclusive mayhem unfold inside! Get Access Now!

Last edited by AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE; 04-03-2008 at 05:24 PM..
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE is offline   Share thread on Digg Share thread on Twitter Share thread on Reddit Share thread on Facebook Reply With Quote