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Here's what I've found Sleazy.
Before the Internet people tended to stay in more localized groups. You spoke mostly to people from the same area, associated mostly with people from the same area, and so on. A set of slang words would be common to a certain geographical area. So for instance, calling someone "mi gordo" (literally "my little fatty") in Costa Rica is a term of endearment while in Mexico the same saying is like calling somebody a fag.
Now that we have the Internet, and especially people like yourself who travel to conventions which bring people from all over the globe together, you associate with groups of people from different regions with different speech patterns. Something you say to your friend from Calgary may well be offensive to someone from The Netherlands.
What it then has to boil down to is intentions. If you say a word with malice of thought, then it's disrespectful. If you say it with no malice, it shouldn't be offensive. So if you're saying "tat" as a way of looking down at tattoos, then yes that's offensive. If you're saying it because that's just acceptable short or slang speech in your area, then it shouldn't be.
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