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you must be an astrologer because my libra is rising
you must be in the kkk because i think we'll have a lot of fun once we get under the sheets
you must be grand theft auto: san andreas because once i get inside of you i'm going to do all sorts of illegal things
you must be herbal essences because masturbating with you is a totally organic experience
you must be a 0day topsite because I just wanna max out your slots
you must be an HTTP status code because all i'm getting is: 402 Payment Required
you must be Frogger because I would cross rush hour traffic and cascading rivers in order to hop in your hole 6 times in a row
you must be a dialup internet connection because every time i want to do something useful on the phone i have to shut you up
you must be a rare warez release because after i get my hands on you, i'm going to pass you off to all of my friends
you must be the warp core of the starship enterprise because if you ever start acting up i will dump you
you must be a game of texas holdem cuz i just wanna go all in
you must be OSX because you're beautiful and alluring but mostly worthless
you must be a free porn website, because after one 10 minute visit i'll never see you again
you must be internet explorer because you give me popups all the time
you must be a hydroponic grow system because i cant wait to introduce my seeds
you must be aol instant messenger because i'd like to see all of my buddies on you
you must be haggis cause you make me want to stuff you with old meat
you must be an internet forum because i am about to try and impress you using my stale in jokes from 1998
you must be a drow elf sorceress because you have cast level 3 ensnare on my heart
did you install back orifice 2000 on me because you just caused my cd tray to eject
you must be alan greenspan because you have just raised my interest rate by several percentage points
you must be a sata2 hard drive because you are modestly increasing my pipe
you must be a .bin with no .cue file because I have to wrangle with you for hours only be burned in the end
you must be java bytecode because you let me use you anywhere I want
you must be a microsoft product because when i find your holes i'm going to exploit them
you must be internet explorer because you give me popups all the time
you must be charles barkley because i want to take you to the hole but i doubt you would be impressed with my full-court press
you must be an o'reilly technical manual because despite your high price tag, you never say anything meaningful
you must be from stdout because i'd like to pipe you
you must be London because I want to explode inside your tunnel
you must be open source because the entire fucking high school class has seen your internal workings and tinkered with them
you must be Doom 3 cause when the action starts the lights go out
you must be a black market organ harvester cause you just stole my heart
you must be a playground slide because i want to go down on you repeatedly
you must be a rodeo bull because i want to ride you for 8 seconds and then get off
i like my urls like i like my women...dirty and mangled
i must be dick cheney because i want to fire my weapon into your back
i must be the u.s. senate because i'm totally rejecting your timetable for withdrawal of my troops
you must be gasoline because even though you're pricey, I'm still going to pump you in my van
you must be Six Flag's newest roller coaster because some rednecks told me that they have been saving up their money all summer to ride you
you must be herpes because every time I think i'm rid of you, there you are on my dick
you must be real networks because i cannot get at your media without installing this ridiculous software
you must be muslim cause im jihard as hell
you must be an NES cartridge because i will blow on your slot until you start functioning
you must be a taxidermy lab because you make me want to stuff a cock in you
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