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Old 03-24-2008, 07:22 AM  
Pleasurepays
BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: I live in a pile of boogers
Posts: 11,913
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDSmith View Post
I get what you were trying to say, and while I don't necessarily disagree with all of it I must say... you seriously can't see where a solid relationship is more meaningful than one night stands?

Please.
"meaningful" is subjective right? i can wipe my ass with a canvas, frame it and throw it up on the wall in an art museum and people can spend the next 1000 years analyzing it and finding "meaning" in it. in fact, people do that very thing.

i have probably a unique view on relationships and its this...

we lie. we are selfish. everything we do and everything we are is centered on selfish needs. we do a very funny thing as a society... we NEVER accuse a volunteer who helps a homeless person as being selfish.... but the fact is that the motivation most often is selfish. its about how it makes them feel.. it makes them feel good. it makes them feel like they are making a difference... it makes them feel a sense of purpose and so on. i am not saying its a bad thing at all... i'm just saying that our motivation in everything is selfish

relationships are also about selfish needs. usually emotional needs. relationships are not accidents... we seek out certain people who can fulfill whatever needs we have... whether its the need to recreate our childhood home by finding someone like our mother whether that person is hyper-loving, abusive or whatever.. or the woman who continually seeks out guys who beat the shit out of her... those needs vary from person to person. but in the same way that we hold someone up as a hero for charging a machine gun nest in world war 2 without ever once stopping to ask "was he crazy" "was he a psychopath" "was he just suicidal" etc... we view relationships and marriage in the same way. we are trained to spend 3 months salary on a huge diamond, have the biggest wedding possible in the biggest church, buy a house right away etc etc etc... but few people really stop to ask themselves "what will make me happy" as they get sucked into this blackhole of an existence.

my point was more that this "meaningful" relationship (whatever that might mean to someone) comes with a ton of compromises and sacrifices as well... and unless you want children and a family, the costs of that "meaningful" relationship is usually greater than the rewards even if we are afraid to admit it to ourselves, our families and our friends.

what are divorce rates in the US now... ? 50% within 7 years?

thats an awful lot of "meaningful" relationships imploding everyday. maybe i'm not entirely wrong?
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