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I'm a cheap fuck, so I'm just gonna SAY [insert script name here] sucks, and sucks real bad, to justify my argument to get a custom coded instead.
In reality, I just hate paying for stuff, so I'm gonna hire a college kid hack of a coder to do it for me, he'll get a generous $2 an hour.
Or I'll outsource the job to some PHiliPino (PHP gods since they have the letters in their country's name, right?) once they stop being so cocky with their pricing as they've gotten.
[insert script name here] sucks my grampa's balls!!1!
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