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Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
--His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you're drunk!
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
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I like pie.
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