MichaelP

While no statement I'm about to make should be construed as suggesting or recommending that any person commit an illegal act of any kind, you should realize that GFY is unable to use the English language effectively or correctly. You see, I unquestionably believe that this is a truth that GFY's factotums are told by GFY that they cannot acknowledge, lest they give aid and comfort to the rest of us. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that GFY personifies our nation's short attention span and penchant for apathy. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does GFY feel that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive? I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that in the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving GFY, but our problem -- and make no mistake about it, it is a severe predicament -- is that we currently lack the resources needed to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly.

You've never heard GFY announce that he plans to set the wolf to mind the sheep? Well, GFY has repeatedly enunciated such a plan but in his typically convoluted way. We must also assert with all the sincerity of informed experience and the desperate desire to see our beloved country survive that he has been trying for some time to convince people that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. Don't believe his hype! GFY has just been offering that line as a means to make empty promises.

While GFY has a right to his opinion, for the nonce, he is content to emphasize the negative in our lives instead of accentuating the positive. But in the near future, he will lead to the destruction of the human race. As pouty as his fans may be, they are also choleric, filthy franions.

Sure, we could just sit back and let GFY censor any incomplicitous ideologies, but that prospect really grates on people who have any kind of common sense. The more I think about invidious ranters, the more troubled I become by his personal attacks. Need I point out that his recent attempt to do exactly the things he accuses morbid devotees of conspiracy theories of doing may prove to be a watershed event for those of us who want to shine a light on his efforts to subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community? We mustn't be content to patch and darn, to piece and cobble at the worn and rotten fabric of his obdurate lamentations. Instead we must open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them.

Of course, we have to consider all of our options. I say "of course" because GFY yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for GFY, "attract attention" usually implies "concoct a version of reality that fully contradicts real life". Each rung on the ladder of fogyism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for GFY to burn his opponents at the stake. That is the standard process by which infantile miscreants use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of tasteless goof-offs. Some unstable renegades are hopelessly sex-crazed. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me deal with his thrasonical histrionics on a case-by-case basis. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because if GFY had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" he wouldn't be so keen to promote an insolent lexiphanicism. Maybe he'd even begin to realize that if he were to use more accessible language then a larger number of people would be able to understand what he's saying. The downside for GFY, of course, is that a larger number of people would also understand that I find it necessary, if I am to meet my reader on something like a common ground of understanding, to point out that I should note that he seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren't hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that GFY's prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. Let me end by saying that I know that what I have written in this letter will send many readers (especially any who are big fans of GFY) into a tizzy or a tantrum. I am sorry, but I remind them that GFY sees chauvinism as his benevolent guardian angel.

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