Quote:
Originally Posted by AaronM
Now I'm gonna have to kick her nigga ass again. Some bitches never learn.
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You might want to follow these simple rules:
How to beat your wife... without leaving prints.
>
>1. Here is one of the modern man's problems! Most men have felt the natural
impulse to pommel his wife's face, but even more men wonder what they will
do if she goes to the Medico-Legal Institute. Certificate, trial, divorce,
what else? Nasty! So, upon the request of an increasing number of readers,
we asked for the advice of a specialist in the field: N.C.O. Gabor.
>
>2. As a surgeon, you have to weigh each move. You have to be confident and
determined. You have decided to beat her up, then do it. Why? She knows why.
Firstly, you stare at one piece of wife. It's best to get to her hair. Then
you stick your hands in her hair. Necessary tools: a policeman's beating
stick. If you do not have one, improvise. Suggestions: a pot stick, a
washing-machine driving belt etc.
>
>3. If you hold her well by her hair, the job is almost done; as she cannot
escape. Still, the operation is not over. You take a (kitchen) chopper that
will be applied slowly to the wife's livers. Once the chopper is fixed
there, you only have to hit her with the stick. Hard and with a proletarian
hatred; and most important: without fear! If you are afraid, you'd better
quit. Take up knitting!
>
>4. Hit hard and steady, since you do not know when you have a second
chance. Even if she acts as if she screamed in pain, do not be afraid! It is
just a fake! The important thing is the way you hold the victim. At the
beginning, given that you do not have experience, the girl will escape from
your "claws". In such circumstances, give her a little extra at the end. So
that she is accustomed to it.
>
>5. After the beating, you only have to watch. She will swear like hell and
will threaten you with divorce, court, alimony and all kind of non-sense.
But when she looks around at the deed's place, in search for prints and
bruises that will be good for a trial, surprise!!! Not even a print. The
beating must not last more than 10-15 minutes.
>
>Here is the end. Confronted with such a work of art, the wife will
certainly be impressed. Only experts can beat so awfully nice. On the other
hand, you will notice that the wife sometimes wants to be beaten up again.