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Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross
Why is a christmas tree better than a man?
Its always erect,it stays up for 12 days and nights.
It has cute balls,and actually looks better with the lights on.
Why is Santa Claus always smiling?
Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Why is Santa's sack so full?
Because he only comes once a year!
how do you know Santa is a man
1.he turns up late
2.drinks your booze
3.emptys his sac
4.only comes once
5.and fucks off before you wake up
why doesn't santa and mrs. claus have any children?
cause santa only cums once a year and its always during the christmas period
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He comes down the chimney and says "Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?"
I told the wife i was going to get her diamonds for Christmas she said nothing would please her more,so I'm getting her nothing instead
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