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You know what I remember most about you? It wasn't your twisted face. It wasn't your sickeningly artificial childish mind set - "So I said to him I said, first of all, like ...whatever!" What I remember about you most was the disturbing image of removing you pants and seeing the inches of curly black pubic hair poking out in all directions from your hole-ridden panties. I'm guessing you didn't have any visitors down there for a while and certainly weren't expecting anyone that day.
Maybe when you were 16, you kept yourself well groomed, thinking you might meet a nice man and have a relationship. But as the years went by and nobody called, you let yourself go. And here you were at 35 years old. Deformed and alone. Ug, you were so grotesque that I should have run away. But that was it wasn't it? You were so grotesque I couldn't stop looking. You were my goal - the most vile looking woman ever splayed out before me in all of your naked glory. Wanting me. Needing me.
God, you remined me of all women. Like how could she fucking do that? I mean what mother would drive off and as her final parting words say to a 10 year old, "You know, it's your fault I'm leaving." I hated you so much that I never wanted to see you again. Why did you have to show up again all those years later? Why? You are my mother and what was I supposed to do? Fuck you bitch! FUCK YOU BITCH!
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That's it. Well, at least those are the ones I can remember.
And now? Now, I don't sleep with anyone. It has been 4 years, cold turkey. I dunno. Everytime some friend tries to set me up on a date, I have this flashback to that no-name girl sitting on the fence post outside that Hampton's bar. The one I fucked, but didn't want to see her face. I think of that girl and then politely decline the offer of a date. It sounds hard not to have sex, but actually, it's just easier.
You know what Kessie would say - my true love who I should have married all those years ago - you know what she would say? She would wave her psych degree in my face and say, "When was the last time you slept with a girl? And when was it that your psycho-bitch mother died? Hmmm, what an interesting coincidence."
Yeah, I dunno. It doesn't matter. I like my job. I like my friends. Maybe one day I'll go on a date again, but no rush.
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