OMG you poor thing, I feel for you I really do. My kitty is 9 years old and I can see age is creeping up on him and I know I am going to lose it when I have to do what you did today. At least you gave CJ the best life and he was happy while he was here. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.
I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. Bye CJ we will never forget you, have fun in puppy heaven!