11-16-2007, 08:10 AM
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris
Posts: 27,880
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this is a great read aswell
about how he got the houston breast implant he won on gfy i belive LMAO
Quote:
Every word of this is true. No names have been changed, fuck the innocent.
Some background information:
As most of you probably know by now; I produce and market porn. Not the hardcore "big black dick up the ass" variety (like Schlongless' wife performs in), but the more tame "naked chick diddling the twat" sort. I'm fairly good at it and it's proven to be a lucrative pursuit.
I'm gradually getting out of the business but look back fondly on some of my more odd experiences related to it.
This is one of them.
Anyway, I used to attend a "trade show" in Vegas called the Internext Adult Expo. It's a 3 day event attended by people in the various adult entertainment fields; i.e. video, products and of course the internet. The BIG names are always there and you can't swing a dead cat around without hitting a half dozen porn stars. It's a good time.
Obviously, alot of debauchery goes on, but serious business conferences and such take place as well.
This wasn't one of them.
Moving along, a couple of years ago I decided to stay for a few days past the event. I had a few shoots with local "talent" lined up and I was really grooving on the hot tub in my hotel room.
Christy Canyon was next door and kept borrowing my laptop, she also let me touch her tits a couple of times so I didn't really mind. I had the dubious honor of getting drunk with Ron Jeremy, who was 4 doors down the hall and liked to sing Danny Boy alot for some unknown reason, and had spoken with the "actress" Houston several times as her room which was directly across the hallway from mine.
I would drink Christy Canyons bathwater. Houston... Well not so much.
Google the Houston 500 and you'll see what I mean.
At any rate, at around 10 pm on my last night in Vegas someone knocks on the door of my room. I put down the aspirin that by now I was eating like fucking tic tacs and answered it.
It's Houston, looking pretty drunk and mildly upset.
Now normally I wouldn't really go out of my way to be chivalrous to a woman who has had almost as many cocks in her as Schlongless' wife, but I am a gentleman at heart so I invited her in and asked her what was up.
She informed me after taking a VERY large swig of the bottle of Walker I handed her that she was nervous about a surgery she was having the next day.
I pretended that I gave a shit and asked her what kind of surgery.
"Breast enhancement." She replied.
My eyes of course immediately dropped to the HUGE fucking rack that was falling out of her Vivid Video tank top. I think I responded with a bewildered "hunh?".
"Yeah," she said, "I'm getting an upgrade."
I took the bottle from her and had a drink myself.
"Upgrade." I said.
A fat hairy guy was singing "the pipes the pipes are calling" in the hallway.
She continued, "I'm really nervous too. The last time it hurt for WEEKS. This sucks James".
She sat down on the edge of my bed and proceeded to get drunker than shit and ramble on about porn star stuff for the better part of three hours.
I was pretty liquored up myself in short order and eventually a very bizarre idea began to take shape in my whiskey addled brain.
"So hey," I asked, "What do they do with the old ones?"
"Old what?" she replied, falling off the bed.
"The old tittys."
She looked confused. "Well I don't know, why do you want 'em?"
"Sure." I answered, already writing my address down on a napkin.
I had forgotten about this conversation by 8 am the next morning when I woke up next to a topless slut. I did NOT fuck her.
I don't think.
I can't promise that I didn't let her suck me off though.
Houston went off to get her boobs fixed again and I got on a plane and went home.
About a month later I get a small box in the mail from someone whose name I did not recognize. Hoping it wasn't a bomb I opened it.
(sorry about the quality I fucking saved it as a gif dammit)
titty.gif (692 kB)
User Reviews
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-08-17 19:01:41 EDT (#)
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