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FIRST: get a head transplant (one with a nice looking face)
SECOND: get a body transplant (one that looks somewhat human)
THIRD: quit the drugs and booze 24/7 (sure it's fun, but in moderation!)
FOURTH: stop wearing wrangler jeans that are too small for you (wrangler jeans aren't cool and wearing small jeans only exaggerates your hideous gut and back flab)
FIFTH: get some money (girls hate guys who are as poor as you)
GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND - MUCH SUCCESS!!!!
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