I could give you links with explanations on how nicotine addictions 'works' in the human brain, but I think personal experience is closer to reality.
Im a big smoker myself (1 pack a day since I am 14). I have quit smoking at least 4 times, being succesful once even for 2 years but replacing the cigarettes with Nicorette gum; once I stopped the nicorette I couldnt handle the cravings and got back to smoking.
I would compare the cravings for nicotine to being starving but replace the feeling of weakness when you havent eat in 24 hours for very high irritability, depressive state, along with some physical symptoms such as head aches, anxiety, shivers and insomnia. Studies even compare the withdrawal symptoms with those of heroine withdrawal if that can give you an idea.
Both of my parents have been heavy smokers for 30 years and quit cold turkey almost 6 years ago. They have both been trough the symptoms I've described above.
Something really strange happened about 2 months after they quit: they both got major unbalance of the thyroid gland which they have been medicated for since then, and will have to be for the rest of their lives. My mother also go a strange syndrome called the reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome ( a chronic pain syndrome that doctors arent able to explain to this day) that had her nailed to the bed for almost 2 years as she couldnt even walk no more... ( she was only 42 when this happened, my father was 46)
They are still struggling with health issues now, but things are much better now. I am not a doctor; but I am sometimes wondering if the fact that they stopped smoking after 30 years of getting a HOURLY dose of nicotine into their bodies and suddenly stopping that habit might have somehow 'traumatized' their health?
When you think about it, I cant really think of any other drug that 'require' a dose every hour, half-hour daily (in the case of heavy smokers, that is) and I think this is a huge part of why it is so hard to stop.
Dont get me wrong, I am NOT saying that they should've keep smoking, and anyway, if it is the case, they would've been better off without any cigarettes at all in the beginning but I just find this happened in quite a strange timing.
I trully believe that stop smoking is one of the toughest challenge you can give to your body; so I kindof understand the way us heavy addicted smokers are not too keen at the idea of quitting.
I have been trought the withdrawal more then once and it was hell, litterally. It will take me a lot of strenght to do it again, but I remain hopeful.
As for your son smoking; i really do think its a sad thing and even more sad that your wife wont discourage him to do so. If my child would start smoking I would feel extremely concerned and guilty if I was a smoker myself... I guess the best thing to do is to inform him of the damages and to show him real cases of people who are now suffering the consequences of such nasty habit.
Good luck
