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My wife and I haven't spoken about it specifically, but I'd think we'd probably agree somewhere in the 14-16 range for a belly button ring and SHE would be the one paying for it AND any medicine for infections after the fact.
As for clothes that's a little tougher, but our schools are actually kind of helpful. They don't allow anything revealing like short skirts or spaghetti straps, so it's not a problem yet. I should mention our daughter is eight, so once she moves to her next school the policies could be different. To be honest though, as long as she's willing to have an open dialogue with us and isn't wearing short skirts pantyless at 14, I'd probably let her use her own discretion. By open dialogue, I mean she's willing to explain WHY she's wearing what she is and is willing to LISTEN to why we THINK what she's wearing isn't all that appropriate. Again, she'd be the one paying for clothes we don't fully approve of.
Something as simple as telling them what they can and can't wear them might scare them off of telling you about more serious problems their having or decisions they're considering. I'd rather my kids be able to come to us for anything and if that means giving a little in regards to their appearance, than so be it.
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