(Parody of emo song, "Hey There Delilah")
Hey there Affiliate
What's it take to get your traffic??
We give you all so much already
But this week sales are looking shitty
Yes its true
We don't get enough joins without you
Please get a clue!
Hey there Affiliate
Don't you worry about conversions
They're just numbers that they make up
So you'll put another link up
Close your eyes
If you think you're being shaved clean
You're prob'ly right,
Maybe one in five!
So put up some links for me
Or do it for
Tawnee
Oh put up some links for me
Or do it for money
It's time to join
Lightspeed!
Hey there Affiliate
I know times are getting tight
But just believe me bro
Someday you'll pay the bills with a freesite
You'll have it good
You'll have the life you knew you could
Lightspeed is good!
Hey there Affiliate
We shoot new girls every day
Every sample that we send to you
Will take your breath away
You'll love em all
Even more hits you'd send to us this fall
We'd get it all!
So put up some links for me
Or do it for
Tawnee
Oh put up some links for me
Its time to join
Lightspeed!
Ten million sites on the internet
Teen, Fat, Milf, Trannie and BBW
There's some out there you'll say "No fucking way!"
Your friends will all make fun of you
and you'll just laugh along because its true
That some of them are closet gay!
Affiliate I can promise you
That by the time you get through
The world will never ever be the same
Lightspeed to blame!
Hey there Affiliate
You be good and don't you cheat me
Push some porn and you'll be very cool
And you'll be making fat cash like we do
You know it's all because of you
You can do whatever you want to
Just follow some simple fucking rules
Don't be a tool!
So put up some links for me
Or do it for
Tawnee
Oh put up some links for me
Or do it for money
Its time to join
Lightspeed!
Oh oh
OOOoohhhh
Oh oh
Ooooooohhhhh
Oh Oh
OOOoohhhh
OOOOooohhhhh
Oh Oh
---alternate lyrics by Steve Lightspeed, in close association with the Anheuser-Busch Brewing Company