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Okay!!! Well, that was...different.
Try these:
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.
The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey."
The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."
Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
*****
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season.
He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.
Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.
Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve.
Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant -- much less a deer.
Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.
Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, "Get away from my deer!"
Confused and frightened Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get away from my deer, NOW!" followed by another volley of gunfire!
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air.
The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, "Okay, lady! You can have your f#@ken deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"
ADG
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