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I have never had any issues with fedex, used them for years. I suspect it may help that I am about 1.5 miles from the depot, and when I get a door card I just go pick the package up at the depot, no biggie.
"go to the side and beep"... yeah, like the driver has time. He probably looked at the sign and started to laugh. I think you will find that you will have the same issues with any service. Why not just get a remote doorbell or something so that they can ring the door and you can come down?
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