Maybe that's why the life guards are so on edge...
I remember sitting on a boogie-board off Zuma a couple of Summers ago...
I was a bit past the breaks waiting for a larger swell to come in - just kinda chilling, and enjoying the sun.
Next thing I know, I look toward the shore seeing this guy swimming out toward me - red shorts - an orange 'thing' in tow - doing the breast-stroke... with this look on his face that said "I must save your life!!"
Meanwhile I'm listening to the pleasant seagull calls from overhead as I undulate in the breeze...
The guy finally gets to me tossed me his life saver - which lands on top of my board - and yells "GRAB THAT!"...
I say, loudly back.... "I'm just hanging out for a large swell..." I mean, I was barely past the breaks...
He yells "RIPTIDE!"
I look around, and notice that the women I came with are exactly at the same spot I left them at on the beach
I yell back "IT'S OK!"
I really just wanted to get back to enjoying my time... sitting on a boogie-board, and enjoying the sun... besides, even if a riptide was to come along - I'm on a floatable object... I'd hope that I could swim back in.
He yells, "GRAB IT!"... referring to the life saver that's now fallen in and next to my board.
Reluctantly, I do, he suddenly engages in a strong backstroke, and I take off like a small motor-boat. I do have to admit, that part was kinda fun.
I finally arrive on the shore, and a small crowd has gathered to witness the brave life guard rescue whoever 'needed' rescuing... maybe they'd get to see some CPR or something? Instead, I just got to my feet, and stood up. I was notably larger than the lifeguard... Probably a half a foot taller, and built a bit sturdier... it's one of the few times in my life that I felt embarrassed... and for what? Because the Life Guard was bored, and I decided that following his directions was the sound thing to do? I should just tossed him back his life saver, and told him where to shove it.
But I simply walked back to the gals I arrived with - realizing my chances of getting laid that night had just diminished greatly.
Thanks, Mr. Life Guard.
And to add insult to injury, about 3 minutes later, a large swell came in.
