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This is an example of "stream of consciousness" writing that would be effective if the author just got the presentation right.
Jack Kerouac's "Visions of Cody" takes this same concept and does it *very* well (i.e. same "streaming thought" style, but presented in a readable/effective manner) . I'd tell the author to pick up a copy of that book and learn how to write in that style from that book before they tried it again as a serious writing style.
It' is a *very* effective style when done right, IMO.
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