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Although you were snubbed by a female on the Bro membership committee, rest assured that your Bro-card was indeed mailed out.
Apparently, your Bro-card was either lost or stolen, because our records indicate that it was used to procure lapdances from strippers and cheap booze by a Mr. A. Hobbit.
We are waiting for the surveillance tapes to determine who this Anal Hobbit person actually is. In the meantime, feel free to speculate and post wild accusations on message boards, since that is one of the benefits of being a Bro...
ADG
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