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I always thought paying $1.99 a minute to Bell to access the internet would be sweet. Or maybe they could put me on a monthly plan I can lock into for 3 years to pay $50/month. Plus a monthly $8.99 system access fee and $2.99 internet tube tax, $5.99 monthly tech support upgrade giving me 3 free calls a month (maximum 8 per year), 99 cent federal tube insurance etc.
And the options would be fair priced, like I could get a package that allows me to surf outside of my city for only $5.99 month. If I want to search statewide I could get the state package for $7.99 and if I wanted to be able to surf websites all across North America I could upgrade to the continental package for only $10.99! I could be viewing my cousins website all the way in New York and send unlimited email to my girlfriend in Dallas with this upgrade option!
Maximum 1500 minutes/month or a $3.99/minute overage fee applies.
1000 free image downloads per month!
View economy class websites for only 10c each!
If that shit happens like companies like AOL did to us dial up guys back in the day I'll go fight club and start blowing up office buildings.
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