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Technically the merchant is supposed to charge the sales tax and send it to the state the customer had it shipped to. Since this is a state requirement and not federal not too many merchants charge the tax unless they have a business also in that state. Big box retailors like Sears or JC Penny are in most states so they'll charge the sales tax for the state it's shipped to if they have a store there.
Some states don't have any sales taxes and most don't have any enforcement for interstate sales except for tobacco so you'll never get caught.
To make it more confusing some states don't have any taxes on services
or certain other items like personal hygene items, household goods or food items etc. so even if you want to pay the states their taxes it's almost impossible and that's why it isn't enforced.
One of the big reasons the feds don't want to open the internet tax debate is because it also opens the debate on all the other interstate sales which aren't taxed now.
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