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I wish I could get fat.
One time, I didn't have a job, so I sat
on my ass all day long and drank ten
or twelve of those weight gainer shakes
a day, mixing them with chocolate milk
and dunking oreos in them, just trying
to get fat, just to see if I could do it.
After a month, I had gained one pound.
I think i have a parasite.
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