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Thanks everyone. I took him to be cremated this morning, spent the day with some family, but eventually I had to face coming back home knowing he would not be at the door to greet me as he has done for more than a 1/3 of my life.
This was not the first dog I have ever had, but he was MY first dog. The first dog that I as an adult out in the world on my own, picked out and was all mine, and not a family dog.
I knew his passing would be a tough one for me, I haven't cried this much since my mom died. Amazing how such a little animal could have such an effect on you.
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