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Old 05-23-2007, 03:14 PM  
testpie
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 3,231

Get ready for some therapy kids...

Characters
  • Hewbert Farnley Stohllingschester - Upper class gentleman with a cane and tophat, probably still thinks it's the 1920s
  • Lorraine Cutter - Ghetto tramp with breasts and not much else
  • Doggy McDogDog Dogginton - It's a dog. Four legs. One tail.

Setting
Hewbert is walking through the slum streets of New Carolinasville when he sees Lorraine and reels her in with some impromptu tophat and cane dancing.

Action
Hewbert walks through the slummy streets and notices a dog-rough looking bitch, Lorraine, with not much going for her other than a pair of knockers that impress even Doggy McDogDog, who promptly barks and wags his tail. Hewbert then proceeds to wow this street dame with his 1920s tophat and cane dancing, hypnotising her with his spinning cane. Lorraine is then led to Hewbert's huge mansion which is clad with gold and shit (bling, bling baby!) and proceeds to hypnotise her with his other spinning cane as she gives top head, but not after Doggy McDogDog fulfills the only point of him being there by saying "I dunno, Hewey" as Hewbert considers contracting AIDs and chlamydia from this street whore.

Even if this doesn't get made (which it surely will), I got a kick from imagining the casting fun that will happen when you try to get a female to correctly pronounce "Hewbert Farnley Stohllingschester" and then introduce her to a costar canine...
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