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This is a sticky subject. Having suffered from panick attacks since my early 20's I can say it feels like hell, almost a death setence. First off accept it. Who gives a flying about what people here on GFY think, do you really care? What matters is getting you feeling "normal" again for now. Taking benzos is NOT a sign of weakness. People take an advil for a headache no?
It is really good idea that you see a therapist and a psychiatrist for help. Meds for panic disorder do help, a lot, but they can't "fix" the underlying cause of the panic disorder. a combination of meds along with good solid therapy can definately change the patterns that induce the panic disorder, so you are on the right track. You're doing your research and that's smart. Remember EVERYONE is different and react differently to benzos.
I've met a few wonderful people in the business that have shared the same problem with me and have helped me (genuine people). I am forever thankful.
With that being said proceed with caution they can be EXTREMELY addictive. Try and use it as a temporary crutch to help you work through these issues. But mostly reach out for help, find forums that deal and discuss these issues.
Sad thing but a reality if you had a broken arm it could easily be "fixed" and people would actually feel sorry for you, because it's something "you can't see" people that have never experinced a panick attack are clueless and as far as I'm concerned what matters at the end of the day is that you get better PERIOD. You'll always find people to voice their opinion on a subject that affect so many people and the help is out there.
The journey begins with the first step. You have taken that step and I can only hope that you will find what you are looking for. It is there, believe me, and you will find it someday. Just be patient and it will come. Without a doubt you will meet some people along the way....but remember, "princibles before personalities" is always the best guide in this life. I offer my best of wishes to you!
Funbrunette-xxx-
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