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Why would I stay away? I have heard negative things about Xanax, which I have never taken longterm, but if it helps me why would I want to avoid it?

I mean, I don't have anxiety as where I get pissed off and I need to take a Xanax/Klonopin to relax; I have anxiety where it seems as though I am not myself, but a different person and reality is not real - sort of a psychotic break.

If Xanax or Klonopin fix this and make me feel normal again, why would I avoid it? I have never tried Xanax longterm, so maybe it does make you feel like a zombie or something after continuous use; which is why you suggest avoiding it, but my friend gave me an entire bottle of Klonopin and it didn't zombify me or have any negative side effects; it just made me feel completely normal.

If taking two pills a day makes me feel like normal; I don't see a problem with being "addicted" to normalcy.

Just to inform you of some of my problems... I think really weird shit, I wouldn't even call it anxiety, I'd call it crazy.

1:For example, I get very anxious when going to the bathroom, probably because I feel trapped (I don't have claustrophobia, I just don't like going to the bathroom or taking showers/baths [but I do obviously].)

2: I don't like looking in mirrors, it completely freaks me out and can initiate a panic attack and derealization/depersonalization episode.

3: Even when being intimate, I sometimes get thoughts such as "What am I doing?" and go into the realm of crazyness, although it doesn't make me stop, it is just something fucked up to think about...

4: I really hate being alone, so I guess I have some sort of monophobia.

Plus there are a ton of other little things... I'm not completely crazy, as it doesn't it have any major impact on my life's work; it just fucks with my mind really bad and it sucks being like this, so I think if being addicted to a drug will stop these thoughts; why not?

Yes, I sound like a lunatic, but it is all inside of my mind and you would never tell if you talked to me or met me in person.