Originally Posted by I would punch them if i met them, pirate bay

>
> Dear Frederik,

It's spelled "Fredrik".

> We would refer you to our notification of yesterday's date regarding
> the above, the contents of which are self-explanatory (hereinafter
> referred to as the "Notification"), to which we have yet to receive
> the courtesy of a response.

We would like to refer you to our Legal Threats section, on which we,
while having much fun, ridicule people like you.
Thank you for your contribution.

> Notwithstanding the fact that you contend that torrent hosting is
> legal in Sweden (which we would dispute),

...and I would like to refer you to the relevant court cases.
Unfortunately, our legal team partied quite heavily last night, so the
only reference I can provide you with is Högsta Domstolen (the Swedish
Supreme Court) NJA I 1996 page 79.

> you also seem to fail to recognise that your web-site is accessible
> all over the world and that, as such, your actions and, furthermore,
> your refusal to act, opens you and your company up to the possibility
> of law suits in - inter alia - the United States and the United
> Kingdom. Such law suits could result in your being refused entry to
> both the US and the UK

Damnit. You got us there. Now I'm so scared I pissed my pants. Where
should I send the invoice for cleaning them?

> Accordingly we would strongly recommend that you immediately comply
> with the Notification, failing which we shall be obliged to advise our
> clients' attorneys to take against your company (and your company
> officers) without further notice.

Wow, we have something in common! See, I also have obligations of my
own. For example, I'm obliged to provide entertainment to our users.

> We would also warn you that, if such steps do prove to be necessary,
> our clients' attorneys would also (a) notify the Swedish tax
> authorities of your commercial activities,

You mean our non-commercial, loss-generating activities?

> (b) notify the Swedish government of your illegal activities, (c)
> notify the Swedish record industry association of your pirate
> activities and (d) notify the IFPI of your piracy activities.

Do you seriously believe that these parties aren't already aware of the
site? You may want to read Swedish media...

> We shall look forward to hearing from you.

We look forward to receiving more of your so exquisitely designed HTML
e-mails with the shiny wanna-be-police-star.

> Whilst writing, we would further caution you against communicating
> or otherwise posting any remarks that could be construed as being
> defamatory of our clients (or Web Sheriff) or that could otherwise be
> injurious to our clients' (or our) genuine business interests.
> Similarly, we would inform you that the copyright in the Notification
> and, indeed, this e-mail is vested in Web Sheriff and that, in the
> event that you attempt to publish either the Notification or this
> e-mail on your web-site (or elsewhere), appropriate action shall be
> taken for infringement of our copyright (we trust, in this regard,
> that you will concur that Sweden does recognise copyright).

We trust, in this regard, that you will concur that publishing your
e-mail is not in violation of Swedish copyright law. When our lawyer's
hangover has passed, he will be more than happy to explain the juicy
details to you.

> Naturally and notwithstanding the foregoing, all accumulated rights
> of our clients - including, but not limited to, the right to institute
> proceedings against your company in the United States - remain
> strictly reserved.

You also have the right to institute sodomizing of yourself. Preferably
with barbed wire, but retractable batons might also work if you push
them far enough.

> Yours sincerely,
>
> WEB SHERIFF

I wanna be a cool WEB SHERIFF when I grow up. Do I get a shiny star and
a six-shooter?