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If he were my kid, a 19 yr old lazy deadbeat drug-using guy who steals from his own family, I'd kick him out of the house right on his ass. He'd take with him only what he was wearing. That would make him hit "rock bottom" a lot quicker than you can spit. Let him go rely on his wonderful friends who care about him so much. He'll soon find that those wonderful friends aren't so wonderful after all. Once he comes crawling back, you start exerting terms on him..... like therapy, and he must get a job, and he must be more responsible around home, etc. One fuckup and it's bye-bye for good.
Don't fucking tell me tough love doesn't work. That's bullshit.
I and my family went through this twice in the past 15 years. First my nephew (who is 3 years younger than me) hit the skids and got caught doing Break+enters, and he did 4 months in the local penitentiary. Best time he ever spent.... he hasn't repeated a thing since, and he'll remember that horrible time he spent in prison for the rest of his life. He's a family man now, and is a lot more responsible than he was 15 years ago, but it took some tough love to get him back on the right track.
My niece also went through a 10-year period of senseless rebellion --- stealing from my sister and myself, running away at age 12, she got into prostitution to generate cash for booze and drugs, she broke into my sister's home and stole home electronics, she even stole all the change out of my change jar once while staying at my place. Little bitch upset my whole family for YEARS until my sister wised up and sent her off to an institution in Saskatchewan for 3 months. That and a LOT of tough love from the whole family is what it took to wise this girl up. She would come around at christmas and make nice with us so she could suck presents out of us. Fuck that! There were a few Christmas's were we completely ignored her sorry ass. TODAY she is still a handful, but she has two kids, a home, she lives with her boyfriend, and they are struggling but getting by..... and for the last 5 years they have been fully welcome at our christmas gathering.
Saying shit like "get him away from his friends" is ridiculous. How the hell is Caroline supposed to do that? This guy won't listen to anyone, why should he stop seeing his friends?? Tough love is the answer here, the ONLY answer.
Caroline.... I strongly suggest you move out. This isn't your problem, you're not his parent. Get away from this aggravation, or you'll find other stuff of yours will go missing soon. Or, the next time he does something illegal, call the cops and let the shit fall where it may.
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