I've posted these before. My favourite Grouch Marx quotes from various Marx Brothers movies !!
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five!
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
You've got the brain of a four year old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it!
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Why, I'd horse whip you if I had a horse.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man.
I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour... which is probably more than she ever did.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce, and so will my wife.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
Whatever it is, I'm against it.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Quote me as saying I was mis quoted.