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<font size="1">'Pastors who were allowed to see the first film, The Fellowship of the Ring, remember that toward the end, one of the male hobbits (which is slang for "homo boy with a little bitty [insert unchristian word here] hanging between his legs") fell so much in love with the main character, Frodo (another male hobbit), that he committed the ultimate homosexual sacrifice by ruining his hairdo and nearly drowning himself to prove his loyalty. Although sodomy is now suggested in nearly every scene where the two creatures appear together, thankfully, the producers leave the disgusting homosexuality (which was so much a part of the novels) off camera. There are some scenes where the hobbits appear together in one sleeping bag and a lewd discussion about what sinful act led to both their palms and feet becoming so hairy, but that's about it. ?By moving dozens of deviant sex scenes between those hairy little perverts off screen, the producers were able to achieve a PG13 rating," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "And make no mistake, my dear friends; here at Landover Baptist, PG means 'pretty gay.'</font>
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