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SBD (Silent But Deadly). Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)
GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?
Hydrated. The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.
Not Now Please! You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).
Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
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